Sunday, April 30, 2017

Real Talk

Hello lovelies!

So, today I feel like I need to have some real talk-- to myself!

The last couple of weeks have been hard. Plain and simple. Work, my health, my personal life, my health and fitness journey-- I feel like they've all taken a turn for the worse.

I posted several weeks back that I was starting a major cut-- I was pumped, focused and was seeing results. Never in a million years did I think I would wind up taking steps backwards. I'm sitting here looking at my screen and trying not to bawl my eyes out as I type. It's like I've lost all motivation. All will power. And all I want to do is BINGE eat.

[I'm just going to be honest here for a second... Yesterday I ate: A steak, loaded mashed potatoes, TWO rolls with a ton of butter on them, pizza, ice cream, coffee... and I still wanted more.]

I've always struggled with my weight. I've always struggled with (some form) of depression. I've always struggled with self image. And I've always struggled with my relationship to food.

I think all of these things go hand-in-hand. Growing up, I never felt good enough. I always felt like the odd one in a room. I never felt pretty. I never felt confident-- I was always the odd duckling. As much as I love my family, when you grow up being made to be so "separated" from the world-- I feel like that has a long lasting affect on you. When you're never allowed to wear what other people see as "normal" clothes, you have long stringy hair because it can't be trimmed, and it's looked down upon to wear any form of makeup when you have skin issues that need to be hidden-- You turn to food. At least I did. 

As silly as this sounds, food was always there with no "limitations". No one ever gave me crap about eating as much as I wanted, or said I couldn't eat this or that. (Like every other aspect in my life) Therefore, I became obsessed with food.

Although I have now changed a lot in my life (as far as how I dress, my hair, makeup..etc.), and I am MUCH happier and making strides at being more confident... I still find myself feeling like that lost, awkward little girl at times. I find that so many people can still affect the way I see myself and make me feel like an insignificant, clueless person when it comes to how I should live MY life.

For example: I am planning a trip to Paris, France. (This isn't the post I wanted to actually announce that but I feel like I need to give this as an example right now) I have wanted to go to Paris my ENTIRE life. I am THRILLED to be going. However, almost every person in my life (that means something to me) has been anything but encouraging and excited for me. This has been going on for the last few weeks and I really do feel like I've let it get to me--- this binge eating being a direct result. I've been down on myself for so long now, I've turned to food again.


Anyways,  I'm putting this out there for the world to see. Tomorrow, I'm getting my life back together. No more dwelling on people and what their thoughts are of me. No more sweating out my decisions because someone else doesn't agree. I am going to live my life in the most positive way possible. I am going to get back to the gym and sweat it all out. I am going to put GOOD foods in my body and I am going to BE happy. I am NOT that little girl anymore and I can make my own decisions.

I was told this by one of my best friends yesterday: "There are always people who will discourage you for trying to be adventurous or who'll try to put you down for not living according to their small-town mentality. Don't let 'em get you down! There's far too much world out there to be stuck as a grocer in Van Buren, Arkansas for 70 years. God didn't give us such a big planet to only stare at a few square miles of it at a time."

He's so totally right! <3

I'm going to end this blog post on a high note... Since I did mention it above, I AM going to Paris in March and I am so excited. I paid my first $500 towards the trip and I have filled out my application for my passport. Now all that's left to do is take my passport picture, send off my application and continue to save, save, save!

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Love always,

"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."

Monday, April 24, 2017

One Day It Just Clicks...

Hello lovelies!

Long time no write eh? Whoops. Honestly, I've had a lot on my mind the last week or so-- none of which I've really wanted to blog about. However, I'm here today and I'm going to throw out some randomness and a quick recap for you all! :)

Where do I begin? I don't even know... Ha! Let's see, Thursday night we went to Beef O' Brady's and listened to some live music and ate dinner. There were two young guys singing and playing their guitars-- I really enjoyed them. One of them was country while the other was more "pop" focused. It had been a long day so I thoroughly enjoyed the escape!

Speaking of music-- Saturday night I got to see Blink 182 at the AMP in Rogers. I didn't really know what to expect but it was actually a really good show! I'm glad that I went, even if it did wind up raining. (Concerts are actually kind of fun in the rain though, so I didn't mind too much!)
(My concert OOTN... My target jeans, Old Navy tee & my new booties that I found on sale at Warrens! Score!)

Earlier that day-- before the concert, I watched two movies on Netflix. One was called "Midnight in Paris" and the other was called "5 to 7". I literally bawled my eyes out-- haha! This is why I don't watch movies often, they make me too emotional! ;) 

Moving on... Sunday I woke up around 9:30 AM and we went and ate at Calico County for lunch! After that, we did some grocery shopping and then went for a drive with the top down. The weather was super nice! We wound up in Cecil, Arkansas and we found some beautiful views. It was a ton of open fields with flowers blooming, old charming buildings, and a breathtaking view of the hills and mountains! Arkansas really is a beautiful state-- I'll give it that! ;) 
(Came across this cute little church building. The picture obviously doesn't do it justice but it was super charming in person! <3)

After our drive, we went for some ice cream and then I came home and took a two hour nap! #noshame

That brings us to today... It was definitely a Monday! However, it helps when you have awesome friends that you work with-- Especially one's that bring you kickstarts to help start your day off right! Ha!

Now, for some random thoughts before I end this blog post: (Warning: They will be everywhere...ha!)
  • I'm looking for a record player! Any suggestions?? I can't decide if I want a more modern one or if I want to stick with a charming, older version. 
  • My friend and I have been talking about camping a lot and he's sort of gotten me interested. I've never been but I really would like to give it a try. Sitting around a campfire, playing some music and making s'mores. Doesn't that sound like a blast? ;) 
  • I have a massage scheduled for this Wednesday and I CAN NOT tell you how excited I am! 
  • My new SUPER CUTE ripped jeans came in the mail and I'm SO excited to style them! Yay! 

I think that's all my random thoughts for the day! Heh! ;) I hope you all have a fantastic evening! 

Love always,

"One day it just clicks. You realize what's important and what isn't. Nobody is worth stressing over. Move on. It's ok to leave people behind. Go find yourself... Go on a road trip someday. Alone or with someone you love. Get away. Explore places. Sleep in the car. Stop at a lot just to admire the view. Visit museums and try out coffee shops. Listen to your favorite albums while driving.  Have a polaroid camera. Take pretty pictures of the sunrise. Run through a forest. Chase fog. Chase the sun. Spend hours in a field making flower crowns. Feel the wind in your hair. Buy souvenirs. Meet people. Take time to observe. Make memories."

(I seriously love Charlie Puth... and this song has been on repeat since it was released! Kind of obsessed with it!)

(This song! Oh. Em. Gee. What creative lyrics! Also, she did a fantastic job when she sang this live at the ACM's. It might have brought a tear to my eye! Ha! I'll post that link as well.)

Monday, April 17, 2017

Kansas City: John Mayer, Arrowhead Stadium + MORE

Hello lovelies!

It's been WAY too long!
I feel like I haven't blogged in ages.. let's fix this! 
(It's only been 5 days, Charity...) 

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend and a happy Easter! I have a huge blog post coming at you today so let's jump right in:

Friday, I worked half a day and then loaded up to head to Kansas City, MO. Tyler and I went ahead of our friends, so we could go ahead and check in to our Airbnb before the John Mayer concert later that night! Speaking of our Airbnb, let me give you my thoughts before we move on: I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. Our hosts, David and Ann, were the sweetest people I have ever met. Not only were they super welcoming, their house was literally the CUTEST thing ever. Actually-- the entire neighborhood was so charming and precious! AH! Here's a couple pictures of the inside:

(I wish I would have taken a picture of the outside.. but I totally failed!)

When we arrived, they were sitting on their front porch, sipping a mimosa while a couple of their neighbors chilled out in the porch swing. We didn't have much time before the concert, so we got dressed real fast and headed out! 

(A bit blurry, but here was my OOTN for the concert! I got this super cute & comfy distressed shirt at a local boutique called "Red Leopard Boutique".)

We met up with Nathan, Jennifer and Taylor for the concert and let me just say this:

Y'all, John Mayer is amazing. That is all. This was my 5th concert of his to go to and I can honestly say he never disappoints! The John Mayer Trio was also on this tour so it was really cool to see them play live! <3 I wanted to share one of the songs that really stuck out to me at the concert. This song is SUPER underrated but it seriously brought tears to my eyes when he sang it! It was just him and his piano and it was the closing number. Ahhh. It gave me chills!

Anyways, moving on! ;) The next day we all woke up to HOMEMADE muffins from our Airbnb hosts. We got to talk to them a little bit more and get to know them. Like I've already mentioned, they were such cool people and I will definitely stay with them again! Here's a couple pictures before we checked out: 

(They had selfie mirrors everywhere-- so we all know I had to 
take my OOTD picture before I left! Ha! These sneakers are literally like walking on clouds! You need them in your life! Also, it doesn't look like they carry this exact size bag anymore but here is the smaller, identical version.)
(They had the cutest, most comfy porch swing! I wish we could have stayed a little longer...)
(Group photo! <3)

After we checked out, we went and ate some BBQ before heading to Arrowhead Stadium for a private tour! Nathan's dad got us the hookup and I was super excited. (Thanks Ralph!) I had never been to an NFL stadium before so it was a really cool experience! We got to see some of the fancy suites, the locker rooms, and of course the giant football field.
(P.S. I feel like a midget in this picture! Ha!)

Over all, it was a super fun weekend and I'm glad I got to experience it with friends! Now, it's the beginning of another week-- and I am currently watching "Good Will Hunting" after a super busy day at work. My friend said it was a "MUST SEE" so I'm giving it a shot! (I don't watch movies hardly ever...)

Anyways, I hope you all have a fantastic week! Until next time... MUAH! 

Love always,

"Just as a general note: You should eliminate any thought that there is an expectation that you do anything by any age. You don't have to be married with kids by 25... It's ok to be 16 and never been kissed... There's nothing wrong with you if you haven't graduated from college by 22... You're not a failure because you don't have your dream job at 30... There are no rules to life. You don't get special points for achieving certain things by a deadline. Just go at your own speed. It's not a race!"

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

What A Day!

Hello lovelies!

I wanted to hop on here and put up a quick blog post before I leave for Kansas City on Friday morning! I figured I would be super busy getting things packed up tomorrow night and wouldn't be able to find the time to write.

Y'all, today was weird. I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately but geez-- when it rains it pours! Ha! Honestly though, with everything that has been going on, I feel like I'm somehow keeping it together. The old me would probably have the worst attitude and be super negative about every little thing, but I'm learning how to find a balance. You're going to have bad days but it's you're choice to let that bad day turn in to a bad week. (Or that bad week turn in to a bad month... etc.)

SO, I am choosing to stay positive right now! Even though today was honestly one of the toughest days in a while... I am happy and alive! I went to dinner with some of my best friends and I get to see JOHN MAYER this weekend. If nothing else, that's something we can ALL get excited about right? ;)

Anyways, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend. Expect a major blog post when I get back from Kansas City. We have a lot of fun things planned and it's going to be a blast!

Love always,

"Progress. Just make progress. It's OK to have setbacks... It's OK to draw a line in the sand and start over again- and again. Just make sure you're moving the line forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that stop you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good."

"The sunrise, of course, doesn't care if we watch it or not. It will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it."

"Classy is when you have a lot to say but you choose to remain silent in front of fools."

"Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day."

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Declutter & Purify Your Life

L- is for the way you look at me...
O- is for the only one I see...
V- is very, very extraordinary...
E- is even more than anyone that you adore...

Yeahhhh, I'm totally listening to my favorite jazzy pandora station right now and that song is currently playing! <3

Moving on Charity... ;) 

Hello lovelies & Happy Sunday!

I know I just blogged yesterday but here I am again! I'm in a typing mood so I'm going to do just that. I've been thinking a lot lately about decluttering and purifying. Those two words seem to keep coming to my mind over and over. Obviously, I think we all pretty much know what these two words mean but I went to to the dictionary to get the exact meanings:

Declutter: to remove mess or clutter from (a place) and to organize and prioritize (one's commitments, material possessions, etc.)

Purify: to make pure; free from anything that debases, pollutes, adulterates, or contaminates. To clear or purge.

So, I've been in this "purging" state for a couple weeks now. I feel as though I'm getting to a point in my life that I'm tired of random stuff, pointless relationships and useless clutter taking up so much time and space in my life. I don't know why sometimes we feel like the more "things" we possess, the happier we'll be. I'm finding that's totally not the case! For example, that dress I bought 6 months ago and only wore once? I thought I HAD to have it. Those who know me at all know I love fashion-- but I'm finding I'm happier in basic tee's and ripped jeans. In the next few weeks, I plan on going through my entire closet and getting rid of about 80% of what I own. Those clothes and shoes-- they just don't seem to matter to me anymore! Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with dressing up and looking nice... What I'm trying to get across is if you have an entire closet full of CLUTTER and it doesn't make you happy anymore, get rid of it!

I think I'm right at two months since I deleted most of my social media accounts. It's honestly been one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. (Facebook in particular) I can't tell you how much clearer my mind has been without all of the negativity and toxic waste creeping in on the daily. I created another Instagram but never use it besides keeping up with a few people here and there. I just don't get social media anymore if we're being honest. Why did I spend so many years documenting every single thing I was doing with my life instead of actually ENJOYING what I was doing. I saw everything through an iPhone screen and didn't take full advantage of those moments. So annoying.

I guess the point of this blog post is to encourage someone to declutter and purify your life! Be choosy with your friend circle... If you have relationships that are toxic and constantly bringing you down, say goodbye! If you have an overwhelming amount of "stuff" and it feels like you can't get your head above water, throw it in the trash! If social media makes you envious or jealous of others, delete it!

Have a fantastic week y'all! <3

People stop and stare
They don't bother me
For there's no where else on earth
That I would rather be

Let the time go by
I won't care if I
Can be here on the street where you live...

I figured I would end the blog with letting you all know what song is playing on my jazzy pandora station now! HA! 

Love always,

"Only dead fish go with the flow."

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Little Theatre, Sunshine & Pizza

Happy Saturday lovelies!

Ohhhhh goodness... I am so exhausted y'all! Physically, mentally... Well, you get the point! Ha! This past week at work was WEIRD-- I was extremely busy but the time seemed to pass by so slow. I literally only went to the gym one time this week too. My body has been acting weird and to top it off, I think I'm starting to get sick again! Boooooo.
(I won't lie, this workout sucked! But here's the proof that I went anyway!)

Let's move on to a recap of my weekend so far:

Last night, I went out for dinner and a show at the Fort Smith Little Theatre with a few of my friends. We ate at a place called "Miguel's Taqueria"... It was absolutely delish! I had chicken tacos and a REAL Mexican coke. (Apparently, they make their soft drinks with real sugar... So fancy and legit!)

Also, when we got to the restaurant-- I soon realized all four of us were wearing some shade of army green! I thought that was kind of funny so we had to take a picture, OF COURSE! ;) 
(The restaurant was painted this really cool yellow color so I jumped on the chance to use it as a background! Lulz)

The show turned out to be really funny and I had a great time! Afterwards, I came home, chilled for a bit and finally went to sleep! 

This morning, I woke up and met my sister at our favorite esthetician's place! (Side note: My sister and I have used Susie Sarkozy for a couple years now and she is absolutely amazing if you are looking for a esthetician-- I highly recommend her!) We both got our eyebrows sugared and had a great time visiting with Susie! <3

After we got done there, we had planned to have lunch at Savoy Tea Company but it was SO packed that we decided to eat Mexican food that was downtown instead. The weather was absolutely perfect today so we parked the car and walked to the restaurant. Since my sister didn't get to be in town on my birthday, she brought me a sweet gift too! She got me a super cute coffee mug, a shirt and a Starbucks gift card! Score! :)
(You can definitely tell she knows me by the gift wrapping choice! Leopard for the win! Heh.)

After lunch, we walked around downtown for a bit and did a little shopping... I didn't buy a single thing! I was proud of myself! ;) 
(I finally got to see a lot of the art work that has been painted on the buildings downtown today... I thought this was cute so I obviously had to take a picture!)

I got home around 2 PM and Tyler and I decided to go for a drive with the top down since it was such a nice day out. 

We drove to Paris, Booneville and Greenwood. While we were in Greenwood, you better know we stopped at Baskin-Robbins for some ice cream! Muhaha.

After ice cream, we drove back to Fort Smith and came across a cute little lake with a walking trail. We explored for a few minutes before we headed to Walmart to grocery shop! 

After we made it back home, we met my family for dinner at "Frank's Italian" and it was so good! I have been craving pizza so that's we ordered! 
(I have zero makeup on here buuuuuut I had to post at least one picture of me and my sis! I'm so glad I got to see her this weekend! <3)

I hope you all are having a great weekend-- we have church tomorrow and I have to meal prep for the week ahead! Woo! ;) Until next time... *muah!*

Love always,

"I like those people you can joke around with and have so much fun and then turn around and have a deep conversation and it's not weird at all."

(Ok, so I love John Mayer and I love Shawn Mendes right? Well, the two of them did a duet together and I might have freaked out a little bit. Haha! This is the best video I could find-- the quality isn't perfect but you get the point! WATCH IT! <3)

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

All My Ex's Live In Texas...

Hello lovelies!

In regards to my title: None of my ex's actually live in Texas-- buuut since this entire blog post is going to be about Texas AND because that's the first song that always comes to my head, I thought why not?  Haha! ;)

So, let's hop right in shall we? This past weekend, my friends Nathan and Jennifer took me on a weekend trip to visit Texas for the first time ever. Here's a little recap of how the weekend went down: <3

We got on the road Thursday night after I got off work. The drive went pretty smoothly and we arrived around 11 PM.
(Our arrival selfie... She makes me feel short! Ha!)

We stayed with Nathan's dad and step-mom, Ralph and Jessica-- and they were such nice people! I'm glad I got to get to know them better this weekend! :) Friday morning we (Jennifer, Jessica and I) woke up, got ready and headed to check out some of the shopping that Plano has to offer. We went to the Kendra Scott, Louis Vuitton, & many more designer brand stores-- I was in heaven! 0:) 
After we did a little shopping, we met Nathan at a restaurant called "Mexican Sugar". (He had to work from the Texas office since he didn't have any vacation time! Boo.) Oh. Em. Gee. The food was pretty darn tasty, y'all! Not only was the food good, but it was a beautiful day outside so we sat outdoors and enjoyed the gorgeous weather! <3
(Look at those tacos!)

After lunch, we ran back home and sat by the pool and talked for a few before getting ready for the concert that night. Have I mentioned I love beautiful weather? I didn't want to move from this seat! Ha! 
(I just love my pom-pom shoes!)

Once Nathan got home from work, we all got dressed for the concert and then hung out with his parents for a bit. His dad was jamming out to some groovy music and there was an intense game of pool going on! Haha! 
(My concert OOTN. Oh, and can we appreciate the adorable leopard rug in the background? <3)

I failed to get ANY pictures while we were at the concert-- whoops! BUT- it was definitely one of the best concerts I've been to. I literally danced my rear off the entire night and had a blast! ;)
(After the concert, we went to In-N-Out. I didn't get a picture of my burger but don't these fries look amazing?)

Saturday morning, Nathan's parents took us to lunch at a place called "Hard Eight Pit BBQ". Oh. EM. GEE. (Again!) This was seriously some of the best BBQ I've ever had-- and it was also one of the coolest environments as well! 
(They smoke all of their meat outside so you actually get your meat FIRST before you walk inside and get the rest of your food.)

If all of that food wasn't enough, we also went and got some tasty gelato afterwards! I had the cookies and milk and it was super tasty! 

It was so sad knowing that we had to leave and had back to Arkansas that day. :( We got on the road around 5 and it was bitter sweet. I seriously loved Texas so much-- I could totally see myself living there! 

(Car selfie! Cheeeeeese.)

Anyways, I had a great weekend and loved every single moment of it. I just want to say a big thank you to Nathan and Jennifer. Thank you for the concert tickets, taking care of me, and for all the fun and laughs I had on this trip! You guys rock! <3 

I think I'm going to end this blog post with that! I hope you all are having a fantastic week... It's almost hump day! ;) 

Love always, 

"If there's even a slight chance at getting something that will make you happy, risk it. Life's too short, and happiness is too rare."

"Every time you kiss me, it's like sunshine and whisky..."